I never considered gossiping a sin until I was 48. In my mind, sins were the big ones—murder, theft, adultery. Gossip? That didn’t even make the list.
Then one day, I heard something that shook me: If we’re trashing someone with our words, we’re committing murder with our tongues. We’re disrespecting one of God’s creations. And that’s not okay.
Think about it—if you’re a parent, you know how it feels when someone says something hurtful about your child. Imagine how God feels when we gossip about His children.
A Life Steeped in Gossip
For eight years, I moderated The Talk, a daily TV show where I was literally paid to give my opinion and gossip about celebrities. At the time, it felt harmless and even fun.
Looking back, I realize gossip had been a part of my life since childhood. I grew up in a huge family, and our epic gossip sessions with my cousins in Singapore were like a verbal Vegas—what was said there stayed there. It was a bonding experience, especially since we lived far from Singapore in Queens, New York.
Those early “bonding sessions” laid the foundation for my fascination with gossip—celebrity rumors, office chatter, you name it. I remember waiting eagerly for my dad to bring home the New York Post so I could flip straight to Page Six for my daily fix.
On the Receiving End
One day, the tables turned. I became a public figure—and gossip’s target.
When Page Six published a “blind item” about my secret romance with my now-husband, I was mortified. Then came the time they printed my name and photo, claiming I was pregnant. Truthfully, I’d just been enjoying too much New York takeout.
It’s funny—when you read gossip about others, it feels believable. But when it’s about you, you realize just how untrue and damaging it can be.
The Turning Point
In August 2020, I heard a sermon from a friend-turned-pastor about the sin of gossip and the power of words. That day, I finally understood: when we gossip, we assassinate someone’s character.
I vowed to stop. I’m not perfect—I still stumble, especially around certain friends—but I’ve learned God hears every word and knows what’s in our hearts.
Changing My Perspective
Since walking with God, I see those who have gossiped about me differently. They’re not my enemies. Our only true enemy is the devil.
Now, I pray for them. I ask God to heal whatever wounds fuel their words. I also try to “find the treasure”—if God created them and loves them, then there must be something lovable in them.
Choosing Silence
When I feel anger rise, I remember James 1:19: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
I’m far from perfect—like the time I had a full meltdown over my 13-year-old’s cell phone—but I’m learning that silence is golden. When I’m quiet, I can hear God. As Psalm 46:10 says, Be still, and know that I am God.
These days, I try to speak less and listen more, especially when the temptation to gossip comes. It’s been a humbling journey, but I’ve learned this:
Words can wound, but they can also heal. I want mine to lift people up, not tear them down.
