Article by Faith Doerr
“You shouldn’t complain about motherhood. You should be thankful you have kids.”
“Why are you sad? At least your family has food and shelter. Others have it way worse than you.”
“God will never give you more than you can handle. His biggest battles go to His toughest soldiers. Keep going, mama!”
Have you heard these sayings? Maybe you’re like me and have even said them to someone else. Whether we’ve said them or heard them, these phrases don’t leave us feeling empowered and uplifted. No, friend, they leave us feeling empty and potentially even worse than we did before.
Motherhood is difficult. Whether you are a first-time mom navigating the ins and outs of having to care for a child or you’re watching your child live a life and make decisions that you may not agree with, all stages of motherhood are difficult. Some may be more physically challenging, while others may be more mentally challenging. Either way, they’re all difficult.
We live in a society that says they are uplifting mothers, but are they? Do the words and encouragements they give actually provide comfort and hope? Or could they possibly be filled with hustle culture, toxic positivity, and comparison? I don’t know about you, but as I partake in my vocation of mother, those things don’t bring me joy and a renewal about raising my children. Instead, they fill me with dread and an “Ugh!” feeling.
We live in a society that wants you to do more and be more. Do more projects with your kids. Make sure you give them every bit of attention, every toy, and access to as many clubs as you can. If you don’t, are you really the best mom? I mean, you could do more, so you should do more.
These ideologies once again leave us feeling the need to be perfect and the best possible mom that anyone has ever seen. Do you see the comparison game starting to show? Me too. Yet no woman can ever be the perfect mom. Take it from a mama who may show anger and impatience toward her kids when they start to be like sloths when we are getting in the car so we can make it to school on time. We are sinners. We will fall short.
Can I encourage you? While you and I will never be perfect moms, there is someone who was perfect who we can turn to and lean on when we are navigating this vocation of motherhood: Jesus. We can learn how to encourage and uplift during motherhood by reading the Bible and looking to Jesus.
For example, when a fellow mama is struggling with the mental and physical stress of motherhood, can you be a safe place for her to express herself? Can you sit with her and allow your presence to be enough without trying to fix the situation or give empty words, but just allowing a silent presence for the
Holy Spirit to work through you?
As daughters of Jesus, we can be a light for a mom walking through a tough time. When the world tries to tell her to do more and be more, we can remind her that Jesus is enough. Jesus is the one who will provide the strength we need, not the perfect schedule or the perfect mindset.
Friend, we are not of this world, and our actions are not of this world. We will view and navigate the role of motherhood differently than society. That’s good! Jesus calls us to use our gifts to uplift and encourage and uplift during motherhood.
As moms come to us with frustrations or concerns over their motherhood journey, let us lead them to the Bible. Let us sit with them and pray with them. When the world tells moms things that will leave them filled with despair, let us lead them to the One who will fill them with comfort, peace, and strength: Jesus.
Learn more about lifting up the struggling moms in your life in my new book, God’s Encouraging Word: True Comforts When Worldly Advice Fails. You’ll find eight modern self-help phrases that actually do the opposite of their intentions. Then you’ll turn to Scripture to find real words of comfort you can offer to those who need it most. This book is full of encouragement for moms, including encouragement for new moms, encouragement for single moms, and encouraging scriptures for moms.
