You’re Not the Only One
Have you ever struggled with something that made you feel like no one else struggled with it?
When I was younger, I couldn’t say my “r’s” very well. I have a distinct memory of my siblings and cousins standing around me in a circle asking me to say “car” and then “cow.” They laughed because they sounded the same. I remember trying really hard to say that “r” in car but not being able to. It was embarrassing. I also remember thinking that I was the only kid who had this problem because everyone around me seemed to say all of their letters just fine.
Thankfully I’m able to say my “r’s” just fine now, but the feeling of being self-conscious about my challenges is one that I’ve carried since that time.
Have you ever felt embarrassed by your own struggles?
Maybe you struggle with weight gain and can’t seem to stick with a healthy lifestyle for more than a few days. Maybe you’re struggling financially, and it appears that everyone else has the budget thing figured out. Maybe you are struggling with overwhelming emotions and have a short fuse with your family, even though you’ve prayed countless times for patience. Or maybe the struggle isn’t your own—perhaps it’s a struggle of your child, your marriage, or someone you love.
Whatever it is, shame has a way of whispering that you’re the only one.
When Vulnerability Opens the Door
I remember having a really hard time with nighttime potty training with my oldest son. As he got older, I started worrying that he was getting “too old” to still be wetting the bed. My mind immediately jumped ahead to sleepovers. I pictured him trying to discreetly put on a pull-up before bed and imagined how embarrassed he would be if another kid found out.
Then one day, while having coffee with two Christian moms, I decided to mention it. To my surprise they weren’t shocked or uncomfortable, they just nodded. Both of them had children who struggled with nighttime potty training too. One of their children was even older than my son. This vulnerability gave us a chance to share notes, talk about what worked for our other children, and commiserate about the seemingly endless season of buying diapers. What was an embarrassing and worrisome situation in my head became a chance to connect and support one another.
Being vulnerable with other people gives us a chance to not feel so alone in our struggles. Every time when I’ve shared something that I’m struggling with, God has given me people who remind me that I’m not alone. When we choose to be vulnerable, we often give someone else permission to be honest too. Time and time again when I’ve shared a fear, a parenting struggle, or something else I’m dealing with, another mom will respond by saying, “Me too.” Shame grows in secrecy, but vulnerability and honesty create connection.
Bringing Our Struggles into the Light
Sharing our struggles with trusted Christian friends helps normalize the things that often make us feel humiliated or ashamed. As much as it feels good to receive support from Christian friends, how much more comforting is it to share our struggles with God. So often, when I’m facing something that feels overwhelming, I spend all my energy trying to solve it before I ever think about bringing it to Him. God wants us to come to Him with our embarrassing, socially awkward, disgraceful, and humiliating issues. He doesn’t tell us to come to Him after we’ve figured everything out. He says, “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
God isn’t intimidated by our embarrassing struggles, our parenting failures, our financial stress, our anxious thoughts, or any part of ourselves that we would rather keep hidden. He gently invites us to bring them all to Him. As God reminded the apostle Paul who was struggling with a “thorn in the flesh,” His “power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:7, 9).
If you’re carrying something today that feels embarrassing or shameful, don’t let the devil convince you that you’re the only one. Bring it to God. Share it with someone you trust. You might be surprised by the people who say, “I’ve been there too.” Sometimes God meets us in the places we’d rather hide and that can be where we experience His grace the most.
Honest conversations about our struggles often reveal something important: we’re not alone, and God is present even in our weakness. Strong in the Lord: A Women’s Bible Study on Faith and Mental Health builds on that truth, helping women examine anxiety, discouragement, and other emotional challenges through Scripture while finding comfort, hope, and rest in Christ.
